Balance Through Holiday Chaos
Here we are– a much-loved and dreaded time of year, the 2022 holiday season! Transitioning from autumn, the season of air, to the season of earth, winter-- navigating the dust storm before we settle.
Today we'll look at the nervous system, identifying imbalance, and some tools with breath and voice.
Balance
Balance. "An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady," according to Oxford Languages. For our purposes, replace the word weight with energy. What does balanced energy feel like to you?
A state of ease. Energy and motivation without feeling frantic. Soft slowness without feeling flat or numb. Holding space for your full range emotions, without being swept away. Fully feeling and enjoying life, and the people you're blessed to have in your world.
Of course it is natural to be pulled out of this state. Life was never meant to be lived always in balance—it is not a static destination. That said, we are not solely at the mercy of our circumstances. When we’re caught in a state that doesn’t serve us, there are simple ways to claim our power to care for ourselves.
Nervous System Overview
Anytime we're talking about energetic balance, this involves the nervous system– your body's command center. I'll start broad and then focus on the specific part of the nervous system that regulates energy.
The central nervous system includes the brain (including retina and ocular nerve), and the spine.
The peripheral nervous system has two parts– somatic (includes muscles you can control, like your limbs), and the autonomic nervous system, our focus.
The autonomic nervous system connects your brain to most of your organs, and regulates many automatic functions of the body– including respiration, heart rate, digestion, and blood pressure. The three parts of this system are:
Sympathetic– speeds up or activates body processes
Parasympathetic– slows down or deactivates body processes
Enteric–manages digestion, very complex part of the nervous system that has as many neurons as the spinal cord
Let's zoom in on the sympathetic/ parasympathetic dynamic– the key to energy regulation, and part of your protection response. Often our earliest bonds and wounds are in family, and we may find ourselves caught in old protection responses especially at family gatherings. Understanding your system and your patterns can open new channels for transformation.
Sympathetic– where our fight & flight response is located; speeds up body processes; engaged on the inhale
Parasympathetic– where our freeze & fawn response is located; slows down body processes; engaged on the exhale
Respiration is part of your nervous system's regulation, and it is the only function of the autonomic nervous system that we can control– this is why breath is such a powerful tool to shape your state of being.
Recognizing Imbalance
When you are hyperactivated, or in a sympathetic, fight/flight space, you may notice your heart rate speeding up, your breath quickening, it may be difficult to sit still, your legs may shake, thoughts may be scattered, you might clench your fists, you may be on edge looking around for threats. Nightmares and panic attacks can also indicate an extended fight/ flight response.
When you are hypoactivated, or in a parasympathetic, freeze/ fawn space, you may feel a sense of shrinking, your breath may be slower or you may be holding your breath, it may be difficult to get up, you may be avoiding looking around, thoughts may feel dull, and might feel depleted despite having rested.
Fawning is when a person gives into an aggressor/ threatening behavior as a way to avoid conflict and try to re-establish safety. This includes people-pleasing behavior, and is especially common for folks whose caregiver is or was a source of fear. This conditioning may have entered so early on that it seems like "personality," but what is personality anyways? The only certainty is that we change.
As you become more familiar with the emotional language of your body, you'll develop your own ways of checking in and sensing when your system needs support. In the beginning, you may be listening to the big cues– such as noticing your heart pounding in your chest. As you dive into your body with curiosity and release chronic tension, you'll be able to receive more subtle information and rebalance earlier on.
To start you off, here's one of my favorite ways to check in: a simple bodyscan
Can be done standing, seated or lying down– either way, be aligned and open. Legs hip width, feet flat on the ground and uncrossed, hands relaxed, eyes open or closed
Breathe naturally or Breathe in through nose, out through pursed lips ("oo" shape)
Fast version: Scan head to toe in a few breaths, feeling whatever is available; then feel the whole body at once
Slow version: Begin by feeling the crown of your head, face, back of your head, throat, back of the neck, shoulders, both upper arms, elbows, forearms, wrists, hands, back to shoulders, chest, upper back, ribcage, middle back, belly, low back, pelvis, glutes, both upper legs, knees, lower legs, ankles, tops of feet, bottoms of feet; then feel the whole body at once
Breath and Voice to Rebalance
Once you've identified whether you are hyperactive or hypoactive, choose from the practices below.
If you're unsure what state you're in, try 5 breaths of the pursed lips breath, see how you feel, and then 5 breaths of the open mouth breath– let your body tell you what it wants. When you start any breath practice, take it slow and stay in tune with your body and changing experience.
Hyperactivation–you have excess energy you need to process and release
Pursed Lips breath
In through the nose, out through pursed lips (make an "oo" shape), allow the exhale to be long and feel your weight release into the Earth
Do 3-5 breaths to calm your energy in the moment, or a 3-7 minute practice. Great evening practice.
For a 3-7 minute practice, be in a supported position–ideally laying down on your back, in a chair with back support, or laying on your side if needed. Move and make sounds as needed. Emotions may arise.
Releasing through Voice
Humming, sighing, yawning, yelling, lip trills, clicks, random notes– any sounds that want to come out
Sing a song that helps you express your emotions
What are other ways that you process and release extra energy? Perhaps yelling into a pillow, a workout, a shower or bath, journaling, dancing, creative expression, a walk. Take a moment to reflect so your tools are fresh in your mind.
Hypoactivation–you need to replenish your energy, and clear away muck to make space for fresh energy
Open Mouth Breath
In through the mouth, out through the mouth, allow the breath to flow into the belly; start off with a gentle pace and listen to your body
Do 3-5 breaths to draw in fresh air and awaken, or a 3-7 minute practice. Great morning practice.
For a 3-7 minute practice, be in a supported position–ideally laying down on your back, in a chair with back support, or laying on your side if needed. Move and make sounds as needed. Emotions may arise. You may feel numbing or tingling; it is safe to keep breathing, and when you return to your natural breath it will subside.
Wild Laugh Game!
Sometimes we need to actively cultivate silliness. Laughter offers so much for your body and everyone in the space, shaking out stuck energy and enlivening your breath and voice.
The game– Make up a wild laugh, and then the next person makes up a wild laugh. It's hilarious.
What are other ways that you build your energy? Perhaps drinking more water, enlivening music, dancing, fresh fruit, creative expression, affirmations. Reflect and gather your tools in advance, so they are easy to access.
References
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
The Power of Breathwork, Simple Practices to Promote Wellbeing by Jennifer Patterson
Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory, by Deb Dana