Breath to Expand From Chronic Freeze
As tonight’s full moon approaches, how is your energy? I keep revisiting these words for the shift into Gemini season “Gemini is the least stable of all signs. It is mutable and it is air. I really hope that for Gemini season you become so wildly untamed and ungovernable…” from a Gemini season spell by Care. ELECTRIFYING, right??
When I started tracking my energy alongside the lunar cycle, it felt like I unlocked a magical code. I began shifting out of seeing my energy as wrong, and into a powerful space of connection and curiosity. I loosened my grip on ideas I had about my emotions and other people’s perceptions, and began focusing on what I was actually experiencing.
When I dove into my body with this fresh lens I realized I was holding lifetimes of grief and fear. Intense and dampening energy flooded me. On top of this I had so much shame over my exhaustion, I was collapsing under the weight. Why was I so lazy and unproductive??
Often the first step of moving out of chronic freeze cycles is seeing how NATURAL this space is, especially in the context of oppression.
First a quick review of protection responses: When your nervous system senses danger, the first natural reaction is to call for help. We are deeply interconnected beings. If calling for help is unavailable/ unsafe, then we fight. If not, then we continue down the chain in this order— flee, freeze, or fawn (give in to survive). When these states are activated dramatically and/or repeatedly, they can become patterns in the body.
Oppression naturally sends the body into freeze and fawn cycles. When someone’s government is the source of threat, fighting and fleeing are often not options. When people know that their belonging in a particular group makes them a target of violence, even without directly experiencing the violence their systems would logically go into freeze and fawn cycles. We are conditioned into feeling that the only option is to shut down or give in.
When I thought of my low, compressed states as depression, I just felt broken. My problem was that I was biologically doomed, too impatient, not trying hard enough, ungrateful, and a negative person. Then I learned about neuroplasticity and mindfulness and thought if I could just rewire my brain, I would be happy. Again and again, across mental health and wellness spaces I was taught to focus on myself and turn away from the foolish idea of reimagining our harmful systems. I was taught that looking at all of the suffering was why I was so upset, and if I could just accept that this is the world, and focus on helping one person, I would finally be free.
I was literally taught that accepting helpless was my path to freedom. What a silly, freezing idea. As a radical queer brown woman, accepting helplessness means disappearing, dissolving everything about who I am and living as an empty shell. Instead I want to offer a practice that for me was key to pulling out of a prolonged, deep freeze and reconnecting to my wild power.
Breathwork for Thawing Chronic Freeze
Reoxygenate the body from extended shallow breathing/ breath holding, expand the belly and relax muscles, and restore energetic flow.
Try out 3-7 minutes of breath in the mornings or at another time of day. Choose a few songs to keep time. While breathing, explore~move your body, cry, scream, do anything that helps you come into your body and tend to your energy. Flow with your intuition.
--expansive breath: in and out through the mouth, can be just into the belly, or 3 parts: belly, chest, then release all at once
--always be in a supported position, ideally laying down when doing this breath
--after engaging in this breath, allow a period of integration where you breathe naturally (for example after a 10 min breath, at least 2 mins rest)
--caution/ potential side effects: do not operate a vehicle/ machinery for at least 15 minutes after, and get up slowly after; you may experience numbing, tingling, cramping sensations, light headed-ness & body temperature changes; it's safe to continue breathing through it or you can back off and return to natural breath
—consult with a physician if you have any concerns, and if you have any of the following health conditions: cardiovascular disease, epilepsy, family history of aneurysm, glaucoma (not controlled by medication), high blood pressure, (not controlled by medication), retinal detachment, severe osteoporosis, strokes and neurological conditions
~may we become so untamable that every space we walk into becomes more free